Ladies.. STOP. Listen and think like a man. “For a good time call” is not on your business card! Nor should it be in your dating life.

I have recently experienced the, “good time girl” role -as an adult. I haven’t been in this head space since my break up from my 20 year relationship. I was 16, in love, hadn’t learned about boundaries and self respect and I chased this man like he was my last supper with the lord and savior. It ended up being a cold bag of french fries from Burger King. We ended up with a beautiful daughter and lots of memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world, however. I DID put myself in the “GTG” role to get him, foolishly thinking that sex would make him fall deeply in love with me. Ladies, here is a piece of advice… if you love him more than he loves you… you will never hold the power. Clearly, we didn’t work out.

After my relationship with him ended, I needed validation that I was not the problem. I needed to know that I was attractive and worthy. So I placed myself into that role again, while trying to date. Man, these fish ALL need to be released. The dating scene is U G L Y. These boys are pretending to be Platinum Arowana (aka Dragon Fish) when really they are chum. Even the cockroaches of the sea (lobster) learned to became a delicacy, yet men have never learned to evolve. It’s amazing they even survived the Declaration of Sentiments. It’s only by the grace of our nurturing nature that men have even been allowed to survived the last 150 years of the Women’s right movements. No. I’m not bitter. Anyhow, let’s get back to the narrative.

I have been crazy about a particular person for many years now. Me, being an intelligent, independent, self-aware woman of a certain age would clearly never be as foolish as her 16 year old self -right? I must’ve added too much blind-to-red-flags seasoning to the last meal I made. And boy did I feast. I mean… I GORGED. So, for starters, have you ever been told straight up that everything is under the terms of friendship? That no feelings are involved? That they would ask you to leave because they’re tired but don’t want to come off as rude? That you will have a solid five months to get them out of your system so you can revert back to the previous status of friendship… WAIT FOR IT…. So that there are no mixed signals?!?! Yeah, me either… ugh! And the kicker?! It wasn’t even that good. I kept thinking, “Okay, I can improve this here, let me help him there, maybe he will stay hard if I do this…” Ladies… NO.

Okay to be honest, I really did enjoy myself and most of that was due to it being the first time -which is always a bit awkward. I also feel like because we have been friends for over ten years, and I have had feelings for him for the majority of that time, I was completely okay with sprucing it up a bit. This is my area of expertise, as it were. So what did I do? I fell into the “GTG” role. The, “I know you are leaving for five months but you are not out of my system and if you want to see me, text me.” That was my downfall. I slipped those panties right on and strutted around like a damn fool. I made myself available and he shut me down. Guys don’t respect the good time girl. They are not wifey material. They are not girlfriend material. They are disposable. I quite literally stamped myself and did it with a Jesters smile.

So of course my crazy stew started to bubble. Yes Sir, I let that insane, boiling pot just overflow! I blocked him. I literally downloaded social media that I don’t even use, just to block him. Fun fact.. do you know you can block people you’re not even friends with on VENMO?!? Yup. That is me. Block him on Venmo girl. I don’t regret it, I am taking my power back.

The moral of this post is literally this. Don’t be that girl. Respect what you bring to the table. You are so much more than anyone’s “GTG”. If you bring more to the table than just dessert, don’t settle for him only bringing breadcrumbs. And for the love of everything holy, DO NOT let him eat cake!

Yours while still feeling peck-ish,

CR