Have you ever accepted a certain treatment or series of behaviors from a spouse or partner, or even a friend or family member? I think we all have.

Welcome to my Ted talk. Today on the menu is punishments and when we need to walk away from the people who administer them. Have you ever been in a situation where someone decides that their truth justifies how they treat you? I’m not talking about a good ol’ smackbottom in the bedroom… but mental punishment. Ladies, stop hiding behind childhood guilt and old time standards that men are fragile and we must apologize and grovel for forgiveness about actions we didn’t even do.

I have been told I’m “too much” and “there’s always something with me” but isn’t that true for everybody? We will always be “too much” for some people. For others we will never be enough. However, for both ends of that stick we’re punished by our partners. We get ignored, put down, dirty looks that let us know we are not acceptable to the object of our affections. They will push our buttons and turn it back on us, claiming that we triggered them or if we would be more appropriate, acceptable, manageable… controllable, these things wouldn’t happen.

Women will be okay in the friend zone as long as there is hope. We will watch our partners treat us poorly while seeking our replacement. When is enough -enough? Okay now that any narcissist has completed reading this -they can only take so much before they tap out because -accountability and all… the best way to hide a body… pay attention people in the back!

Get yourself an environmental or wildlife conservationist friend. Someone who is licensed, preferably. Have them bring you to a spot that is rarely traveled to and not yet protected. Proceed to dig a 5-6 foot deep hole (with one person and a simple shovel the task should take approximately 5.5 hours). Next you are going to mix the soil with garden lime. The lime is an important step because it will help neutralize the acidity in the soil and will also add nutrients like magnesium and calcium. You must leave the soil to set for two to three months, that will assure you that the lime is at its peak to do it’s job. After the appropriate amount of time has passed, bring the item you wish to bury. You will also want to obtain an animal carcass, the bigger the better. A deer being ideal. Start with the first item. Once it is in the hole, proceed to use half the soil that is already treated and cover the item. Once you are about three feet from the top -give or take, place the carcass in. Continue covering with the rest of what was previously dug out. Now.. It is crucial that you plant endangered plants into the top soil. Below is a comprehensive list of protected plants -in case you don’t know the Latin names for them. You can add a little more lime for good measure, but most important is that you root the plants well. Do not revisit the area for at least a year!!!! If no one has uncovered the plants, in a years time go back to the site and check on the growth. If the ground does not look like it is was freshly dug (it should appear weathered and wild) and the plants appear to be thriving, an anonymous call should be phoned in to alert the proper authorities of the newly discovered endangered plants.

Yellow Coneflower (Echinacea paradoxa) … Vasevine (Clematis viorna) … Golden Barrel Cactus (Echinocactus grusonii) … Sweetbay Magnolia (Magnolia virginiana) … Possumhaw Viburnum (Viburnum nudum) … Prickly Pear Cactus (Opuntia spp.) … Barbara’s Buttons (Marshallia grandiflora) just to name a few. There are in fact over 800 plants that are protected. So do your part to save our planet!!

Here are a few protected trees, if you really want to be undiscovered! Abies guatemalensis (Guatemalan fir)… Cupressus abramsiana (Santa Cruz cypress)… Fitzroya cupressoides (Patagonian cypress)… Sequoia sempervirens (coast redwood)… Sequoiadendron giganteum (giant redwood)… Torreya taxifolia (Florida torreya)

So to recap this installment of punishment and do we deserve to allow people to punish us. The answer is no. We are all human and are sometimes “unmanageable” but that doesn’t give anybody else the right to exact mental warfare on us! Ladies, stop being second fiddle and take control of your lives. You are worth more than the mental games and shame.

Yours, dirty and sore but an ever lover of nature,

The one and only CR