Have you ever been told you’re being, “too much” or a “handful” or simply just, “overwhelming” ? Welcome to the “you’re actually fucking fabulous and shine too bright for this basic, motherfucker” club!

Ladies… never accept the shade of you’re too much. All that means is, whatever party you are with simply can’t handle the overflow of fabulousity that rolls off you like a waterfall of magical, fat-free Belgium, dark chocolate and caramel goodness. You don’t need that negativity, you just need a big enough spoon!

For a very long time I tried to tame my fabulosity. I would swallow it down so that I wouldn’t make waves and catch looks. It took me a long time to figure out that I’m not too much, they were just too little. Think about it.. here’s the scenario. You are jonesing for a piece of cake.. so you get in your car, drive 20 minutes in the torrential rain to a local bakery and go inside. Once inside you realize that you need to wait in line. Another 20 minutes. Finally…FINALLY, it is your turn! You look into the glass case, eyeing all the delectables and mentally remarking on the ginormous slices of cake and pies, the oversized donuts and the bear claws that could last you for three days… each item is above $8 and the bored looking teen behind the counter is side-eying you like you’ve been there for three days already and she has somewhere better to be.

You go to order and panic. You don’t want to look greedy, or like a glutton so you sheepishly look at the teen and blurt out… Can I have a donut hole? With a role of her eyes she grabs a piece of parchment and hands you the petite treat. You get to the car, drive the 20 minutes home (because you don’t want to be seen gorging in your car) open up the wrapped paper; only to realize it’s plain. It’s a plain fucking donut hole. You feel empty, unsatisfied and defeated.

So now… let’s unpack this. You could’ve had a big slice of Heaven but settled for a basic donut hole. You went through several obstacles (or people if we want to be literal) to get what you were craving (metaphor for growing into who you’re meant to be or embracing your big personality), you let the pressure of what people might be thinking to make you downsize and allowed the teens condescending look, rush you through the decision to ask yourself what you really wanted. And you were left with something wanting. You need to give yourself the okay to battle the demons that are stacked against you. Step back and question WHY shouldn’t you go full send? Who cares what they think? Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, some people are one and at the end of the day, it is none of your business what theirs may look like.

Just remember, demons fear the light. Shine on and those that appreciate and match your radiance, will always find you. Never downsize yourself to make someone who doesn’t glow as bright, feel better about themselves. That’s their journey. Just enjoy yours. And if you don’t know how to start, begin by simply Door Dashing it until you realize how great it can be.

Yours with the darkest tinted glasses money can buy, just so I can be in your presence,

CR